The kissgiving hypothesis
by adenosinatri
Summary: Sheldon wonders how kissing Penny would be.
1. Chapter 1

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

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I've never been much interested in the notion of kissing.

When I was fourteen, occupied with obtaining my first PhD, my advisor introduced me to the hypothesis of it being good, and I accepted her will to experiment. Needless to say that disproved the hypothesis, and I didn't think it needed further testing. I had more important things to concern with, such as changing the view of physics in the universe.

If one thinks about it carefully, kissing is either a learned social behavior, which, much like other social conventions, is utterly unnecessary, or it is instinctive, a step before intercourse. Either way, none of those reasons would be good enough to convince me to, as the colloquial saying goes, "give it a shot".

Not to mention the fact that it is estimated that hundreds or even millions of bacterial colonies move from one mouth to another during a kiss. Kissing can even spread diseases like meningitis, herpes and mononucleosis.

However, lately I started to experience those rather uncomfortable sensations. It started on Wednesday night, which was, as always, Halo night. Leonard, in discordance to most of anyone's expectations, had a date, so we invited Penny to play. Wolowitz and Koothrappali were settled on playing together, so I was stuck with our neighbor. Nothing would have happened if we weren't both so good at Halo. When we won the first round, the losing team went to the kitchen to get colas, and we were left on the couch to celebrate, which she insisted we did by "high-fiving". And then, for some reason I cannot estipulate, her hand landed on my leg. I jumped in shock and she removed it very quickly, but when I turned to give her a mean glare, she was just smiling, playfully. I noticed then that she had a beautiful smile. Not just the western notion of beauty. It was a perfect combination of muscle molecules bending and sliding through each other, forming a unique, dynamic presentation of happiness.

I opened my mouth to inquire why she had begun to smile that way, but before my lips could form the words I noticed iher/I lips. She was running her tongue between them. I felt as if there were significantly less oxygen in the air, which was ridiculous, because nothing had occurred in the past seconds to compromise the integrity of the apartment's atmosphere. But I felt as though I needed to take a very deep breath if I intended to inhale what was necessary for my organism's survival.

I judged that my lungs' sudden difficulty in capturing oxygen was related to the increasing rapidity in which my heart had begun to beat. That was when I thought the weirdest, and without a doubt most pathetic thought I've ever had. What would be like if Penny's lips were touching mine? Would they feel uncomfortable and overly moisturized? Would it be like my experiment, nearly twenty years ago? Her lips too asperous, her movements too abrupt? An idea occurred to me, that perhaps, for once at least, I was wrong. That, in fact, a scientifical theory should not be based upon solely one experiment. I've heard Leonard and some other men Penny hung around with mention casually that she was a good kisser. Since I was operating under the assumption that no kissing was good, I hadn't considered that.

I only realized I was leaning towards her when my friends returned to continue the game, which they would lose again. Twice.

After that day I began to obsess about the incident. Whenever I had a new idea for an experiment, or when I formulated a hypothesis, I would spend most of my time thinking about the best way to proceed and accomplish it. I had to know if kissing Penny would be enjoyable. It was a matter of uncovering a biological mystery. If kissing was really a nice experience or if people merely assumed it was, due to their hormonal reaction, programmed by evolution to cause enjoyment of pre-coital situations. Since unlike most people, I was aware of that fact, I would be able to analyze the matter rationally.  
The main issue was actually conducting said experiment. We weren't alone in the same room very often, and when we were, she usually had a way of making me feel much too uncomfortable to try anything. I considering forgetting the whole thing, but that would be giving up, and I never give up. I decided I needed to just take action. Make the first move, as society expects the male of the species to do. It was Saturday night. Leonard went to sleep and I avoided saying anything to him, as to not compromise the secrecy the event needed to take place. Then, I sneaked into the hallway and knocked three times on Penny's door. After a while she came to answer, in her pajamas, looking sleepy and confused. She asked me what I was doing there, and I thought she sounded a bit annoyed.

"I wish your help conducting an experiment."

"Now?" She definitely sounded annoyed.

"Yes, now is the only good time." I believe I sounded very professional and serious. "It won't take long."

"Alright, what do I have to do?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that. I didn't know if I should reveal my intentions or surprise her. I opted for the second, due to not wanting to deal with the possibility of rejection. I told her to simply not move.

Not sure where to put my hands, I posed my fingers at her hips, not wanting to touch her too much for this. The experiment had other purposes, after all. Her blouse was slightly short and I could feel her skin at my fingertips. It was much too warm. Penny looked up at me, her eyebrows meeting at the center of her forehead. I hesitated for a moment, but proceeded to lean forward, until my face was close enough to hers for me to sense the air she exhaling on my chin. She opened her mouth to speak, but I placed my lips onto hers before she could. I hadn't planned much for after that, so I just stood there, brushing the skin of her hips slightly, my mouth pressing hers.

Much to my absolute shock, she moved her hands to my neck and pulled it, rather harshly, if I may add, and pressed her mouth against mine. Her lips did not feel uncomfortable at all. They were, like her skin, very warm, and a bit humid, but it was more like sipping water than diving in a pool. She began performing weird lip movements, such as, opening hers slightly and embracing mine. I experienced a rather uncomfortable moment where I couldn't really process my thoughts correctly. Or coordinate them with my movements. Before I could take notice of it, my hands were fully opened on her back, rubbing it nervously, and I took a step forward, as she did the same holding on to my neck, as if she were afraid of falling down. Even though it was a ridiculous notion, at the moment it seemed possible – that's how dysfunctional my logic became. Therefore, I pulled her closer and my abdomen was pressed onto hers. Then I noticed my own mouth opening against my will.

Penny's tongue slid into my mouth, causing me to have an involuntary muscle spasm, popularly know as a "shiver". I had no idea how to proceed, and as I mentioned, even if I did it wouldn't have been much use. I chose to follow her motions exactly. Firstly her tongue seemed to slowly massage mine, so I copied that movement. Her hands were wandering behind my scalp; she appeared to be determined to grasp every bit of hair on my head. My hands were occupied with her back. I realized the warmness was no longer bothering me. In fact, I longed for it. I had another shock when she started to suck my tongue into her mouth. I felt my forehead grow creases it had never grown before. Gasping for breath, I pulled her away carefully, turning my face away first and slowly proceeding to abandon the place on her back my hands had grown to like, despite my wishes.

"So…" she said, I noted that she was having breathing difficulties as well. "That was your experiment?"

I couldn't dare to look at her, so I gazed at an unspecific point in her door frame.

"Yes."

"And, hum…What were the results?" I pondered on that. Well, that was the whole point, wasn't it? And yet, I couldn't possibly answer. It had felt good. Too good. But was I really able to specify why? I decided I had insufficient data to proceed.

"Inconclusive." I said, and walked back to my apartment as quickly as possible.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I'd like to thank everyone for the support and reviews in this story, it really means a lot to me that you guys are liking it. First person POV is not something I'm used to writing and Sheldon's is specially hard. I hope you like this chapter, I'm working on the next ones and they should involve some plot development, but that's just so we can't get it over with and move to the good stuff. :) Special thanks to my betas theonlytwin, lilallisun and kaitou_lili from LJ. This story wouldn't survive without their help.

Chapter 2

I was much disturbed by the physical reaction that followed that night, after the incident which I would begin to define as field test n#1.

As soon as I walked back into my apartment, after leaving Penny (I refuse to say after kissing her), I observed the sudoresis spreading on my palms and forehead and the increasing, however small, spasm in my left leg. None of that made any sense whatsoever, so I decided to start taking a real, valid scientific approach to the situation. Yes, that was the best way to handle it.

Bedtime would have to wait; this was a matter of a most urgent nature. I went to my bedroom, opened the second drawer of my nightstand and retrieved my black notebook, along with a pen, which I brought back to the living room, where I turned on a light, sat at the desk and began to write.

_Scientific Procedure_

_Step 1: Define the question._

_Is kissing a genuinely pleasant human experience or is it merely a social convention based on an evolutionary predisposal to enjoy any contact which may lead to reproduction?_

_Step 2: Gather Information and resources, observe_

_The general opinion seems to be favorable to the enjoyability of the act itself, despite its roots or consequences. Another general opinion regards strikePenny/strike subject n#1, which implicates acceptable kissing skills on her part._

_Step 3: Form Hypothesis_

_Kissing would be an enjoyable experience. Kissing strikePenny/strike subject n#1 would be an enjoyable experience._

_Step 4: Perform experiment and collect data_

_Experiment performed so far:_

_Field Test n#1_

_Main question: Does said experiment answer the question stipulated in step one?_

It did not. But what am I supposed to do? The whole thing is much too subjective to be taken as scientific. What was I thinking?

Well, I'll answer that. I was thinking that I, being able to control my own emotions, would be able to be objective on the matter, thus solving the mystery once and for all.

Clearly I was wrong. No, no, I'm never wrong. I must merely be missing something. After that thought, I slapped myself in the head. Of course, I couldn't possibly acquire enough data after only one experiment. I suppose I can excuse that due to the fact that I'm a theoretical rather than an experimental physicist. Leonard is an experimental physicist. Huh. I could make a wager on the fact that Leonard would be thrilled to be the one performing this particular experiment.

Ok, now I'm just talking nonsense. Back to point. Where was I? Oh, yes, another experiment. Field test n#2, if you will. Hum, but how could I possibly recreate the exact variables involved in the previous experiment? No, that's much too chaotic to be manageable. I should probably just forget the whole thing. Yes, I believe I should apologize to Penny (I'm beginning to understand that's the appropriate response after kissing a woman who was not expecting to be kissed) and drop the research. As of that moment, all I had accomplished had led me towards a spiral of tormented thoughts and delusions. With that in mind, I went to bed, deciding that I would apologize first thing in the morning and move on as if nothing's happened. This shouldn't be hard, due to the fact that if something did happen, I'm sure it was meaningless for both me and Penny. Right.

* * *

I assumed confronting Penny wouldn't be particularly easy, but I'm pleased to report that our morning encounter, as Leonard, I and she entered the hallway to retreat for work, went rather "smoothly". We both said "Hello" and despite a slight twitch I felt in my left eye, nothing could indicate that we had previously experienced something of that nature.

After that, my work day went as usual; successful equations and discoveries, newly formed theories, series of scientific articles moving with outstanding speed. All thoughts of Penny and our little, shall I say, late night encounter, had drifted out of my mind completely.

That was, though, until Leonard and I arrived home. It was Thai food night and Wolowitz and Koothrappali were expected to come over with the food. I grabbed a cola from the fridge and sat peacefully at my spot, where I waited, watching reruns.

Leonard mentioned something about work keeping him extremely busy and excused himself to the work desk, where he seemed concentrated at whatever doomed research he could have had.

As of that moment, I was immensely alarmed when the door flung open to reveal a flushed, heavy-breathing and without a doubt extremely angry Penny. I realize now that anger isn't exactly strange behavior when it comes to her. In fact, it seems to be the general norm.

She simply walked in, grabbed my arm and pulled me up from the couch, making me spill my drink all over my "The Flash" t-shirt. But she did not care for the fact that no amount of laundry would be able to remove the stain from what now was a ruined rare shirt. Leonard glanced at her, looking puzzled as she dragged me to the hallway closing the door behind us.

"Penny", I began, reprehending her, but she cut me mid-sentence, her hand fully opened, pressed against my chest, pushing me onto the door.

"Now, listen here, Sheldon, and listen very carefully. I will not, understand, will not be a guinea pig or a white lab rat or whatever in your little experiments. You may have no clue as to how human interactions work, but here, I'll give you one: You don't go around kissing people, especially for experiments, okay? Not ever. So don't even think about trying to pull that on me again, got it? Or you'll force me to take harsh measures." She spoke fast and forcefully, but oddly keeping her voice in a low-key tone, as to not be overheard, I assumed. At her final statement, she glared at me with the killer look we reserved for each other.

I was too appalled by her actions to respond with anything dignified, so I nodded.

"I'm actually through with the research, Penny," I added, staring at our feet.

At that, she finally removed her hand from my chest and the place she was pressing stung, as if burning a little. How bizarre.

She seemed to be considering my words. After a brief ruminating moment, she said:

"Oh, hum. Well then, sorry. Hum, sorry about this." She glanced down, looking embarrassed.

"I believe I should be the one apologizing, Penny. Kissing you last night was inappropriate due to the fact that you did not wish to be kissed by me. And for that, I'm sorry."

I looked to my left side as she glanced up at me, smiling. I remembered the words I had once used to describe her smile to myself and felt the capillaries on my cheeks dilate with a sudden rush of blood to them.

"I kissed you back, you know?"

I did not understand what she was talking about, so I frowned.

"What?"

"Sheldon, I was upset because of the experiment. But now that you told me it's over… I mean, I didn't get upset about the kiss. Not. At. All." She paused the last words, saying each one in, metaphorically of course, a different sentence.

I looked at her in shock.

"What?"

"You didn't like it?" I sensed an implication of disappointment, but I could have been wrong, I'm not very good at guessing emotions.

"I don't know, I…I told you yesterday." I looked firmly to the other side as she took a step closer to me. I had told her. I couldn't evaluate the experiment properly, that was the reason why I had dropped it. I repeated that to her, but that just made her smile grow wider, except in a rather frightening way.

"Well, you know, maybe you just got to give it another try," she said.

I was unable to move, partially because I couldn't send a proper neural command to my leg muscles, and mostly because her hands were now pressed against the door, on both sides of my shoulders. She leaned forward until her lips were mere inches from mine. I was still looking at the other side. But suddenly at that moment I experienced the strange physical sensations once again. I felt my head turn around to expose my lips to hers and I closed my eyes immediately, as to not see the bizarreness of what I was doing. I must have gone insane, at last. The poor thought coordination and lack of movement control was clearly a sign of mental instability. There was also the heavy breathing. At the moment I didn't care about any of this. I was operating on limbic system, on animal instincts. Maybe my original theories of kissing were correct. But why I was I succumbing to it? I've never been one to fall for instinctive behaviors. I was a superior animal. This was one of the extremely rare moments in which I was not proud of myself. I was turning from i_Homo Novus/i _into a common i_Homo Sapiens Sapiens/i. _Pathetic.

I felt her lips brush against mine and my hands lifted, seeking out for the place in her back they liked to touch. But just as I was about to open my mouth, inviting her in, a familiar voice shouted from behind her.

"Penny? Sheldon? What the hell?" It was Wolowitz.

As Penny jumped away from me, I had to hold the doorknob to keep from falling down.

To be continued


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Sorry for the wait guys, next couple of chapters should come sooner, but I may face writer's block after that, so if you want this story to continue, review. Your reviews inspire me. :)

Thanks theonlytwin and kaitou_lili for the beta. Enjoy.

**Chapter 3**

He stared at us, shifting his glance from her to me repeatedly, with an expression of disbelief. Rajesh was also staring, he appeared to have wanted to say something, but Penny's presence turned whatever it was into a canine shriek. I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it immediately afterwards, realizing that for once I had no idea what to say. There was no logical or believable explanation for what we were doing besides the truth. Even if I had the time to formulate an un-unravelable web with a convoluted lie, he just wouldn't buy it. Oh, well, Penny started talking, it's all doomed now.

"Hum, hey Howard. Raj. We were just, hum…"

"You had your lips on his lips! That's not fair Penny; everybody gets a kick at it, except good ol' Howard?"

I gasped. This was not the right thing to say, because Penny's mood went from the embarrassment of being caught to the previous anger she had directed towards me. Although, if possible, she appeared to be even angrier at Wolowitz.

"Okay, first of all, it's not everybody 'gets a kick at it'; she quoted the words with her hands. "And second, the day 'good ol' Howard gets anything will be a cold day in hell."

But Howard was unable to express his exasperation at Penny's offensive remark, for Leonard had chosen that moment to come out of the apartment. When he opened the door, I jumped away, getting a slight panic attack. I had not considered Leonard into the equation. Another flaw. The others we could handle and maintain their mouths shut, so to speak. But Leonard would demand explanations, and I was currently unable to provide him an acceptable one. Come to think of it, kissing Penny probably broke an unspoken rule in the covenant of friendship I abided to, being his roommate. He also helps me fold my sheets when they come out of the dryer. Perhaps I should have considered the possibility of damaging my relationship with Leonard. I shook that thought away. There was no risk. The kiss and the second almost-kiss weren't anymore than what he had previously accomplished with her; there was no reason for disturbance on his part if it didn't move beyond that. And I didn't plan on moving it beyond that.

"What's going on here?" he asked, confused.

Penny and I looked at the others, I was trying to mentally address them and request they did not reveal anything to Leonard. I assumed she was doing the same. In a more obvious way, if you judge by her glare. They were silent. Penny spoke.

"Nothing, Leonard. The boys came with the Thai food and Howard made a pass on me so I cut him off." She smiled, as if shrugging everything off and making it okay.

"Yeah, that's…what happened." Howard said, clearly preoccupied. Raj nodded. So Leonard opened the door and they went in.

"Penny, would you like to join us?" he offered.

Penny's eyes met mine and I stared back in doubt. "I don't know, Leonard."

"If you're worried about Howard, I'll make sure he stays away from you…"

"Right, well…"

"Penny, can I ask you a question?"

"You already asked her a question, Leonard." I stated. He just rolled his eyes.

"Sure, honey."

"Why did you pull Sheldon from the apartment earlier?"

Penny's face twisted into an expression of pain for a brief second but seemed fully recovered when she spoke.

"Oh, yeah. Nothing really, I was just lecturing him on not opening other people's mail. He found this letter I was sending on the floor and opened it."

I frowned and spoke in protest. She was lying and accusing me.

"What? I did no such…"

"Sheldon!" she cut me. "We discussed this." She stared at me again and I understood. Of course, the lie was a cover up. I must say I was rather admired by Penny's quick response. Even if she were using her powers for evil.

I waved my neck. "Yes, naturally."

"Anyway, I'll just…" she pointed to her apartment and rushed in. "See ya'll." She said before closing the door.

Leonard looked at me, an inquiry expression in his eyes. I looked the other way and went back inside.

I gave Wolowitz and Koothrappali a very meaningful look, signaling them to keep quiet about the events they had just witnessed and they seemed sufficiently startled, therefore I was mostly silent through the entire evening. I believe the others found that especially pleasant, for they did not appeared to be interested in getting me involved in the conversation. Neither was I in partaking it. I didn't even jump in when they began a discussion about whether or not Spider Man would lose his entire body weight after web-swinging through the city (because that's what happens to real spiders) and would need to eat ridiculously large amounts of food to compensate, thus making the movie version of his web production completely illogical.

But I had better things to concern myself with than the pathetic scientific flaws of Hollywood productions. I had started to wonder whether or not something was happening between Penny and me. If Wolowitz hadn't interrupted us earlier we would've kissed once again. I had no doubts about that. What I questioned was why she'd want to kiss me and most importantly: Did I actually want to kiss her back? I hadn't objected to her approach at the moment, but then again I had established that I wasn't thinking clearly. Good God, there must be something terribly wrong happening with me.

Why couldn't I stop thinking about her? Her words kept echoing in my brain. Metaphorically, of course. "I didn't get upset about the kiss." "…you just got to give it another try." Argh. And we almost did. And I wanted to. Yes, but why? I never cared for kissing, or for any other kind of human interaction which involved physical contact. Yet something about Penny made me want to kiss her when she reached over to me earlier. Her scent, the way my hands felt when they were on her highly warm hips, the way her soft lips touched mine, as if she wanted me…

This was all highly illogical. I could explain everything with pre-school biology. Her favorable scent was due to the emission of sex pheromones, which, in animals, indicate the availability of the female for breeding, thus making her scent appealing to me – a male member of the same species. Her availability for breeding would also explain her apparent desire towards me, as well as the warmth of her body. The reason I was fond of all of this was simple: I was obviously experiencing the classical physiological reactions prior to copulation. Naturally, it didn't matter for we would most likely not go through with any other type of contact.

I barely noticed when our guests left and Leonard said good night. I just sat there on my spot (the left corner of the couch), thinking (the thing I do best). I was trying to make sense of all of this. Because I had to. Because I am Dr. Sheldon Cooper (PhD), IQ of 187. If anyone could make sense of anything, that was me.

Oh, damn you, Penny. Damn you and soft lips and warm skin and… Oh, God, no. Is it possible that I have feelings for Penny?

No, that's nonsense. I don't have feelings. Well, perhaps occasionally. But not romantic feelings. And why would I have romantic feelings for Penny out of all people? Sure, she was attractive, if you judge by western's beauty standard. And she was quite clever, especially considering the fact that she never graduated from college…And she had given me the napkin with Leonard Nimoy's DNA. That had to be evidence that she cared about me. But wait, why does it matter if she cares about me or not? Oh, I don't even know what I'm thinking anymore. Focus, Sheldon.

I got up from the couch and went to scribble on my notebook once again, I had left it on the desk.

_iReasons to like Penny:_

_1. __Leonard Nimoy's napkin._

_2. __Beautiful smile._

_3. __Lovely scent._

_4. Warm skin._

_5. Outstanding Video gaming skills._

_6. Unlike the others, appears to be, at times, genuinely interested in what I have to say._

_7. Surprisingly good answers on friendship questionnaire._

_Reasons not to like Penny:_

_1. Disorganized, chaotic apartment._

_2. Often angry, often at me._

_3. Intimidating._

_4. No knowledge or interest in physics._

_5. Ruined laundry night._

_6. Told on me to my mother._

_7. Made fun of MONTE._

Just as I was finishing jotting down my notes and closing the notebook, someone knocked on the door and opened it. I already knew who it was before turning around. Logically, who else could it be at this hour? It appears we keep having those midnight encounters.

"Hey, Sheldon. Good, you're alone. We need to talk."

I looked at her and she had a sad look in her eyes, which indicated the matter she wanted to discuss was both important and uncomfortable. Wait, pause for commentary. Did I just interpret an emotion? What is the deal with my brain?


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:** Okay, first of all, you guys are all kinds of awesome, even those of you who are just reading and lurking (yes, that's you, I know you're there). Please keep reviewing and don't be shy to criticize :) Sorry this is incredibly short, but it needed to be. Trust me, next chapter is hopefully coming soon and so will the others.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"What do you wish to talk about?" I asked, clearing my throat and proceeding to stand up.

"Well, look. You probably haven't been in this kind of situation before but when two people kiss, that's usually supposed to be a conversation topic."

"Really? Huh." I was puzzled. "But Penny, just earlier, you said…"

"Okay, wait." She waved her hands in the air. "I'll do the talking, alright?"

I frowned, I could not allow that.

"Actually, Penny, there are quite a few remarks that I'd like to make, regarding…"

"Shush." She kept waving her hands in the air and giving me a mean look, so I decided to just hear her out firstly, for safety measures. She stared down while talking, tapping her foot on the floor and occasionally shifting her body weight from one foot to the other.

"It's just…When you kissed me I…Felt something, I don't know what it was…"

Perhaps she wanted my help guessing?

"Hunger? Pain?"

She glared at me annoyed.

"No. I just felt something and I was angry because I realized you just did it for your experiment. But then I came here and you told me you didn't want to experiment again, and I just wanted to kiss you again, but I, I'm not sure why."

She looked at me, and if I may judge, appeared to be sad and confused.

"Penny are you by any chance implying that you may have romantic feelings towards my person?"

She sighed.

"I don't know, Sheldon. I felt something in the kiss. Maybe. I guess."

"Penny I'm finding all of this to be extremely confusing."

"Well, imagine what I'm finding…"

"Annoying? Terrifying?"

She laughed. Quite frankly, I must state that while I excel in most areas of expertise, psychology is not one of them. Granted it's a soft science, but nonetheless I was unable to interpret Penny's reactions. Nothing that she was doing or saying made any sense. What feelings was she having? Was I perhaps having those as well?

"No, sweetie. Look, forget that. I just want you to know that I understand if you want some time to process all of this."

"What's there to process?"

"I don't know, I guessed you'd be embarrassed. Or uncomfortable. But you and I are friends, right?"

"Penny, Penny, Penny. Don't be naïve, I do not get embarrassed. I'm confident that you and I can move past the events of today and go on with our normal lives."

There. Perfect solution. It settled everything down and I wouldn't have to deal with those foolish thoughts and – dare I say it – feelings any longer. I knew I could solve this; I was a genius, after all.

"Is that what you want?"

"Yes." It was what I needed anyway. I should've never accepted the kissing hypothesis in the first place. This entire mess was my fault, but I was redeeming it now.

Penny looked down and I observed that her bottom lip was probing up in a pout. But just as I acknowledged that she looked up, determined.

"Well it's not what I want! I think there's something here and I don't know what it is exactly but I can't just ignore it. You can't just ignore it. I won't let you."

"But Penny…"

"No, you will not walk away from this, Sheldon Cooper. You kissed me first, you should deal with the consequences and unfortunately the consequences are that I want to kiss you again."

"You see, Penny I was just explaining all of this to myself. I trust that you and I are merely experiencing a common biological stimulation to…"

"Oh, shut up."

And with that she kissed me.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:** Sorry for the long wait guys, but here's what you've waiting for.:) Thanks to everyone following this and to the kind betas psycholizard, mist72 and southern_heaven.

* * *

I was distanced from my mind once again. All that existed was the contact. There was no more apartment around us, no universes, no quantum physics, and no comics. There was only Penny. Penny's hands entangled in my hair making soft, pleasant movements; Penny's back attached to my hands; Penny's opened lips locked onto mine and her throbbing tongue and its minty taste.

I honestly don't know what came over me, suddenly it was all too overwhelming and I needed more. More and more. This wasn't enough. I held a firm grip on her hips and pulled her closer, prompting her to hold tighter to my neck and kiss me more harshly. Still not enough. I allowed my hands to slide all the way up to her shoulders and back down to her waist. I then had this unexplainable, illogical urge that I couldn't control.

My hands moved from her waist to her stomach and from there to the underside of her breasts. I waited a moment to see if she'd push me away. I hoped she would because this was getting very difficult to handle or even process. But she didn't. So unable to hold myself, I moved my hands to her breasts and caressed them. Every bit of them. Penny's lips moved away and I felt her strong exhalation on my chin and for a second I feared she'd break away, but instead she proceeded to kiss – well, to be more precise, she proceeded to _suck_ - my cheek, my earlobe and all the area on the left side of my neck. I began to experience multiple shivers, so I kept my eyes firmly closed and held on to her for balance. Her head was just below my nose and, much to my delight I could smell her hair. I couldn't specify what it was, I was probably merely sensing her pheromones.

Penny's lips moved to my collarbone and she was nibbling the flesh around with a rather cannibalistic hunger, which she extended to both sides of my neck and my ears. I couldn't help the pathetic moaning sounds that insisted to come from my mouth. She was pulling me down so forcefully, my back was starting to hurt, so in regard for practicality, I grabbed her waist and lifted her off her feet, until our backs were straightened, her mouth in level with my ears.

She was getting a bit heavy to hold so I carried her to the door and pressed her towards it. She made a noise and I worried she may have been hurt, but she just shook her head when I asked and pulled me towards her neck. I kissed it thoroughly, but my technique was not comparable to hers; all I could do was peck it, while she moved her hands up and down my torso and at some point she got them moving under my shirt. I imagined this to be some sort of invitation for me to move my hands beneath _her_ shirt, which was what I did next. I felt her body arch towards me while my hands explored this rather strange new world, which I later figured to be the laces in her brassiere. The hook was loose enough for me to explore underneath it, so I awkwardly stuck my hand there, feeling up for her…

But she stopped me.

Gasping for breath she looked up into my eyes.

"Wow, Sheldon, just stop right there."

"I am very sorry, Penny. I cannot tell you how embarrassed I am." I couldn't look at her, but she placed both hands on my cheeks and forced me to face her.

"It's okay sweetie, let's just, umm…Takes things slow."

"Take what slow?"

"Us. Whatever it is we are doing…Anyway, I don't want you to freak out about this, so just go to bed and we'll talk about it when our heads are clearer."

"Penny, I don't see how I could possibly sleep after tonight's happenstances. And I…do not wish you to leave."

She smiled and I actually experienced tachycardia.

"It's okay, honey. I'll come back. And you and I are going to do this again. We just need to think up some basic ground rules."

"What kind of ground rules?"

"Well, for instance how fast we'll move and when we will reveal and decide what this is."

"I suppose the number of kisses and the intensity of such would qualify us as boyfriend and girlfriend, despite the lack of an actual date, which seems to be the established beginning point for romantic relationships. If you wish I could…"

"God, no. I mean not now. Plus I hate dating."

"But Penny you date all the time."

"Not 'cause I want to. Okay, wait, changing topic now," she sighed. "How much do the boys know?"

"Well, if by "the boys" you are referring to Wolowitz and Rajesh, they know only what they saw earlier. I directed very emphatic glares at them to keep them quiet for the evening. However, I trust they'll be inquiring about it anytime now. I assume that, like me, they didn't wish to communicate this to Leonard who, as of this moment, knows nothing."

"Good. Let's keep it that away. At least 'til we figure out what we're gonna do about this."

"What are we going to do about this?" I asked, because I deemed myself clueless.

She smiled again, said absolutely nothing, _winked_ at me and left.

I shook my head in the deepest of all confusions. What was happening to me?


	6. Chapter 6

AN: A longer chapter for you guys! I hope you enjoy this, because other updates on this story may take a longer while to come since I'm currently working on a lot of other stories and stuff. Any grammatical glitches, or such, leftovers are totally my fault, do call out on them. Enjoy. :)

As it turns out, I was right about an upcoming inquisition from Wolowitz. No surprises there. However, the whole thing had me extremely uncomfortable. The next day at work he entered my office abruptly and essentially harassed me until I explained "what was going on."

Of course, I had no choice but to reveal the whole truth; I cannot lie. Not convincingly, and certainly not without preparation. When I finished he just stared back at me, his mouth agape and eyes bugged, which I'd guess is a common expression of disbelief.

"Hold up," he finally said, waving his palms at me. "You. And PENNY. You MADE OUT with PENNY? YOU?"

He practically spat out the words.

"Excuse me, but I do not appreciate your tone."

"Oh, really? This is…This is unbelievable. Tell me this didn't really happen."

I frowned. "Okay, this didn't really happen." He was shaking his head repeatedly, eyes still wide. Why did everyone have to keep behaving in such confusing, illogical and not to mention inappropriate manners?

"What exactly is the purpose of my saying these words? Just for future reference."

"Nothing. Forget it. I just…" He paused. Then he had the look on his face. The look of great ideas. Most people would say, as if a light bulb had appeared over his head, suddenly enlightening his mind with amazing discoveries. Which is, of course, ridiculous. No one would even think of light bulbs when they had a great idea, let alone actually have one appear on their heads. Well, I suppose Thomas Edison probably did think of light bulbs when he had his great idea. But it's a valid comic device, I granted. So Wolowitz looked back at me a dazed expression stamped on his face.

"Wait a second, wait a second. Yes. I can turn this around on my favor!" He ran up to me and grabbing a hold of my shoulders, desperately shook me.

"Sheldon. You have to tell me _every little detail._ Every single thing you did to get this to happen, and most importantly, everything that she did to you during the…well. Go ahead."

I looked at him with despise and pulled my self away from his sweaty grasp.

"I most certainly will not. Whatever has passed between Penny and I is a private matter and I would very much like if you did not discuss this any further and that it was kept it within the confines of this office."

"Oh, no way. If you're not telling me, I'm telling _on _you." I gulped dryly.

"But… You can't. Leonard. He must never find out about this. He could very well kill me, for all I know. He's certainly shown this inclination before." I pleaded. A malicious grin appeared on his face.

"Well, well, looks like Dr. Sheldon Cooper wants Mr. Wolowitz to keep a secret, doesn't he? Well in that case…" He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led me to sit on my chair, "…He's going to tell everything in order to buy Mr. Wolowitz's silence, won't he now?"

"Are you blackmailing me?"

"Oh, yeah."

I gulped again. This could become difficult to handle.

I was forced to 'spill my guts' to Wolowitz, so to speak. Though, I'm inclined to believe it could very well had been literal, especially since I felt highly nauseated over the course of our conversation. When I was finished giving him what he deemed sufficient information (I tried my best not to reveal anything that could embarrass Penny, I felt sufficient embarrassment for the two of us), he smiled wider and moved to leave the room.

"What's going on, Howard? Sheldon?" Luckily it was only Rajesh, showing up at the threshold. I would have not been able to recover had it been Leonard. Wolowitz, who now had grown a permanent grin on his face, stared back at him.

"Well, you wouldn't believe it, my friend. Remember what we witnessed the previous afternoon?"

And so my day proceeded, with annoying remarks, and sideway glances and insinuations, all coming from two men I assumed where my friends. But even I know that's not very friendly behavior. Not to mention unpleasant. Especially since I was still trying to keep it a secret from Leonard, who, due to the others' attempts at making me feel awkward, was now beginning to get suspicious. Gladly, due to my absolute lack of romantic history he just passed it off as regular teasing on their part.

Teasing which got to a point where I thought it would never stop.

Some were highly stupid such as texting me, asking for further details on the colors of her undergarments. Others were surprisingly convoluted, involving fake notes from "Penny" and lingerie hidden in my desk drawers, along with a Teddy Bear with flowers delivered by an enthusiastic man, rambling about my "hot blonde girlfriend". Incidentally, it appeared at the exact moment of my meeting with Dr, Gablehauser.

I'd had about enough by the end of the day, and much to my delight, the practical jokes did not follow me home, where Leonard and I were planning on eating our recently bought Chinese food. Penny, however, appeared to have different plans, for me at least. She was suspiciously standing on the hallway, closer to our door than to hers. I observed as Leonard frowned and asked her what she wanted. When she revealed her intention to speak to me, I felt the blood rush down from my face and gulped. Leonard glanced back at me and I noted he didn't seem very pleased by that turn of events. But, oddly enough, he smiled at Penny and went inside with our food, shutting the door on his way. Penny faced me and reluctantly, I did the same. She smiled slightly.

"So, I guess it's time to talk, huh?" she said.

"What matter do you wish to discuss?"

"Well, what do you think?"

I sighed. "Reasonably speaking there's only one prominent subject at the present moment. However, I do not see how the conversation could progress to a further level than what it is at currently. That being said, I'm hungry and I'd like to go eat my Chinese food."

I regretted my words as soon as I've finished them, for Penny's face twisted into an expression of pure fury.

"So that's it? Gosh, I bet you didn't even think about this at all today, did you?"

"Well, it was hard not to with Wolowitz and Koothrappali teasing me about it the entire morning and afternoon."

"And you told them? You know what? Forget it! I thought that maybe it had meant something for you too, but CLEARLY I was wrong! See you later, Sheldon."

And she stormed off into her apartment. The hollow sound of the door slamming prompted me to jump.

This wasn't right. I realized I had crossed some sort of line by ignoring Penny's desire to proceed in conversation. I turned back to knock on her door.

"Penny. Penny. Penny."

Silence. I tried again.

"Penny. Penny. Penny."

Nothing. I sighed.

"Penny, if I by any chance expressed anything that disturbed you, I'd like to offer my apologies. I would prefer, however, if I did not have to do so to the door."

After a minute, which I first imagined to have been five – disproved by a quick glance at my watch - she had opened the door and was glaring at me again, her mouth hanging open. She shook her head a few times and finally spoke.

"So you do want to talk things over?"

"I assume that would be best. Yes."

"Okay. Talk."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You want to talk, do it. I've talked enough."

"I…I…I'm not sure what to say."

"Figures."

She motioned to close the door, but I stirred my hand forward to hold the door handle in place.

"Must you be so difficult?"

"Oh, now I'm the one being difficult?"

"I was never difficult. I offered you plenty of easier options and explanations; you merely choose to refute science over romance."

"What can I say? I must be a fool."

"I do not think you're a fool. I do, however, believe you may be forming delusional thoughts regarding my person."

"Such as…"

"Well, for one thing, that I would easily succumb to romantic situations."

"You succumbed to kissing me. Twice."

"I…don't know what came over me."

She smiled mischievously and nodded.

"Come on, admit it. You like me."

"I do not."

"Do too."

"Do no…Penny. I will not partake in childish games with you."

She chuckled. "Fine, sweetie." And, as if concluding that thought, she climbed on her toes and placed a chaste kiss on the tip of my lips. I lifted my hands up to hold her face in place before she could pull back. An action which I cannot explain using reason. I can, however, say it was the action that brought us the greatest of all troubles, for that was the moment Leonard chose to open our apartment door to seek me out. As I held Penny, I heard the door open, and before I could react, I heard him say with a yelp.

"Guys? Sheldon? What…What…What's happening?"

I dropped Penny with force and turn to face him. The contorted mix of anger and hurt in his face caused pain in my stomach. The repercussions of this event were beyond my imagination, but I could tell by the fury in his eyes that it couldn't possibly end well.


End file.
